today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post
I am so obsessed with powerful women who know they’re the shit and make no qualms about how powerful they are. Women like Lady Gaga and Beyonce and Nicki Minaj who are in control and stand up for the things they believe in and hold themselves so high and walk with such confidence and a gleam in their eye that says “I take no shit from anyone.” They are amazing.
1) High school sucks balls for the most part. I know you hate it and feel like every last ounce of individuality you have is being crushed, but you’ll miss it. You’ll miss the people and the noise and sliding down hallways in your socks, and nothing you experience will ever feel exactly like that.
2) No one is going to fix you. You have to fix yourself, get up off the bathroom floor, wash the saltiness off your face and put yourself back together. Loving yourself is not easy or immediate, but it is necessary. And no matter how many pounds you count or minutes you stare in the mirror or binges you go on, there will come a day when you’re going to be okay with looking in that mirror and liking what you see, when you’ll be able to hold down a burger and fries plus dessert without feeling guilty.
3) Beer is an acquired taste. So is classic literature.
4) Most of what you worry about will not matter in four years. Trust me on this. You will struggle to remember the name of that guy you went out with and never texted you again, and that test you failed will not be nearly as significant as you think it will. Things pass.
5) Some friendships don’t last forever. People change and that’s okay—so long as those changes don’t affect you negatively. And if they do, don’t be afraid to cut those people from your life like weeds from a garden. You don’t need more negativity and stress than you’re already inevitably bound to have.
6) You do not owe anyone an explanation, or an apology, that you do not feel like giving. It is okay to keep things to yourself, but it’s important that you learn to trust people. You will find people around whom you feel okay letting your guard down and being yourself, and they’ll love you all the more for it.
7) The “real world” is actually big and scary and very complicated. Be ambitious. Set goals. Test your own boundaries. Set deadlines and keep them. Structure yourself and your time. Prove people wrong—there isn’t anything in the world more satisfying than proving people wrong. Believe in your fucking self, don’t be afraid to take risks and treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and better yourself.
8) Remember that while all of that is important, it’s crucial that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Make jokes and laugh at them. Have fun. Indulge. Read. Travel. Shop. Write. Drink. Paint. Watch movies. Read some more. Never be too busy to enjoy yourself.
9) Falling in love is indeed very scary. I am not kidding when I say it will scare the shit out of you that someone knows all about you and your flaws and in spite of them loves you and thinks you’re worth it. It is terrifying, but it will make you happier than you’re capable of imagining at the moment. So go ahead and love him back because I promise nothing but good things will come from that.
10) Even if today sucked and you feel like the biggest piece of shit on the face of the Earth, remember that you always have tomorrow. Forgive people’s mistakes—you’ll feel lighter when you do. Don’t be afraid to take a deep breath, erase and start over. You won’t be sixteen forever and it will get easier. I promise.”
whY DO PEOPLE GIVE TAYLOR SWIFT SHIT SHE’S A WOMAN WHO cALLS MEN OUT ON THEIR SHIT I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO BE LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT IF A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG BREAKS UP WITH YOU OVER THE PHONE SHOW HIM YOU’RE WORTH MORE THAN THAT AND MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW AND MAKE A MILLION BUCKS OFF IT STOP SHAMING TAYLOR SWIFT AND START COPYING HER